    .   ,    
 


   ()
,        .

    !

  , ,  ?

    :      ,       !

    ,       ,        ,        ,    .

  PDF A4   .





 

    .   ,    



Rachel Wilkerson Miller

The Art of Showing Up

How to Be There for Yourself and Your People



 2020, April 2020 by Rachel Wilkerson Miller

Originally published in the U.S. in 2020 by The Experiment, LLC.

       , 2022

       , 2022

    , 2022


* * *



  ,    ,      ,       .          ,      .

 ,    



  ,    .     컠   ,        .   !

 ,   Ask A Manager



    ,      ,        .  ,    ,    ,      ,   .

 ,   Frientimacy



                .    ,     -, - - -- ,    ,    .

 ,    Hey Ladies!   Gee Thanks, Just Bought It




!



  ?  ,       . ,         , ,    -.          ,     ,    ,       ,       .    ,     ,   ,     ,       ,   .      ,   .  ,    .

   ,    - .      .     .         ,     ,           .    ,       ,        .          ,  ,    ,    ,        .     , ,     .     ,   ,     ,  ,     ,  .


* * *

  ,     ,     .  ,             .      :    ,         ?

   ,  ,   .  ,  -,  ,   ( - ) - .       ,         .   ,    !     !      ,      .     .

            .    Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community[1 -   :     . . .]  .  ,       ,     ,      ,        :   ,  ,  , .    ,           .

,    . ,   2018 , ,            [2 - Bialik K. Americans Unhappy with Family, Social or Financial Life Are More Likely to Say They Feel Lonely // Pew Research Center. 2018. December 3. http://pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2018/12/03/americans-unhappy-with-family-social-or-financial-life-are-more-likely-to-say-they-feel-lonelyKristen]. (         .)  1999        . 70%             [3 - Horowitz J. M., Graf N., Most U. S. Teens See Anxiety and Depression as a Major Problem Among Their Peers // Pew Research Center Social and Demographic Trends. 2019. February. http:// pewsocialtrends.org/2019/02/20/most-u-s-teens-see-anxiety-and-depression-as-a-major-problem-among-their-peers].       :         ,  ,    ,   ,    .     ,          .    .    ?       ,       ,    ?    ,    ,       ?     ,   ?     ,    ?

        .    ,     (     -  ,    ),      ,   ,   ,   .  -    .          ,        . ,      ,      .            ,  -   ,     .     ,    ,  ,        .




 

    , , ,          ,       .    ,         .      ,  ,   ,   ,       ,     .





  ?


   [4 - Crowe K. PhD, McDowell E. There Is No Good Card for This: What to Say and Do When Life Is Scary, Awful, and Unfair to People You Love. San Francisco: HarperOne / HarperCollins, 2017.]      ,   .        , ,   .

1.     ,   ,    -  .      ,        .

2.      ,           ,   ,   .

3.     ,      ,     ,  , ;     .    -  (, ,   ,   ),    (, ,   ,   ).    . ,          ,  .

4.     ,   ( ,  ,     )    , ,   ,   . (, ,       .)




 ,  


         : , , , , , , ,     .

.           ,   .

.     - ,   ,   ,       .

.     ,    ,      (   ,            ).

.         .

.      ,       ,     ,    .

.     ,   ,   ,  .         ,       .

.                   ,        (     ).

.         ,      - (      ) - .              .         ,    .

.             ,   !         .          .




  ?


   ,      ,      .      , , ,       .    .   ,  ,   .     ,   ,         .

       .     ,     ,  ,    .      ,           .         ,   ,     .

 ,        . , ,   . (      ,   ,  ,    !)        ,        .      ,        -,   ,     .     .     ,      .




  


    :  I     ,  II    .      :        ,      I,   ,      ,      .    !                ,   ,     , ,          - .  ,     ,      . !  !        ,        (  ,       ),    I    ,      .

    ,        ,    ,     -   (,  -    )   ,    .    ,  :  ,    ,  .   ,               ,    .

   ,     ,   ,     .   [5 -          3.]     ,    .    ,   ,     .  -     ,   ,  ,  , ,            .      ,   ,      .      !!!       ,    ,     !  !   !!!




 1

  





 1

  



      .   .      ,   ,   .   ,    (    ),     ,    (  ) ,    (  )   .    ,             ,   ,     ,       .

     ,    .      ,    ,       ?    :          ,        ,         .  ,      ,      ,     ,     ,        ,   ,     .      ,      ,    .

,        ?  :

   ,    .

        .

,   ,   .

,    ,   .

,    ,   .

,  ,  ,  (  )   .

,  , ?        .       ,     ( ,         ),       :       ?      .      ,   .

   (   ),             .   , , ,       . (  ,    -   !.)   ,    .        ,     .            ,   .   . ( ,        ;      ;     ,    -         ,  -   ,        .) ,    ,             !              ,    .

    ,    ,            .        ,      ,   .   : ,   ,      ,     ,   ,    .   ,       ;  , ,    -    .         ,         ,     ,   .

    ,      ,   ,         ,         - .

  , .



   ,     ,  -,  ,      ,    ,    .        ,      ,    ,    ,   ,   , ,     ,  ,    .     .     ,   -     - .      ,   ,     ,         .





 


        -   ,         . ,     ,      !         .      ,   ,        .       ,          ,    ,      . ,   ,       . ,     ,     - ,   .

        ,  ,    ,  - ,  ? ,    ,    ,       .    ?    ?  ?         ?     ?     ?    ?    Twitter?    ?  -  ?      ,        .

,       ,          , ,   ,            .       ,       : ,    (     (#k1)).

    ,      :

   /;

  ;

    ;

    (, , );

    ;

         .

            .        , ,     - .

    (  , ,    ),    ,      ,   - ,     .    ,     .   ,     ,           . (      ,    ,          .)





/





   











































 

 



 


  ,      , , , , , , , ,   .

  ,   ,      .          ?       ?     ?

 !     ,      ,     ,   ,   ,    .       .      ?   ,   ,     ? ,     , ,  ,      ?

      ,       .   ,  -     .     ?    ?  ,    ,      ,    ,     ,   ,       ,    ,     .




 


 :          .      ! ,          .        ,   .       , ?          , , ?    ,               ,   .

    ,      ,    ,  .  ,    -    .          ,   ,  .  ,      ,  -         .     !       .

   .       ,   ,   ,   . (,   ,     //    ).       (,    ),    (, :  ,  ,   ;  :  ,   ,  ).         .

     ,    ?  : )    , ,   -  ,  )     ,    . ,     , ,   , , 



   ,    .

 ,     ,    .

     .

    .



   ,           .

   ,    .

   ,     .

   ,     .


:     -  ,    .      ,      ,       .

? .   :













 (  )



/



 (, , , , )

  ( )

/



  





 



 ( , , )

/  







      

 -     ,              .

    :

    ?

      ?

     ?

    ?

     ?

  ,      ?

     ?

    ?


  .    ,   ,     ?   ,   ,    ?    - ,      ?  -  . ,  : ,           ,    .   ,    ,   ,        .




  


        ,      ,         ?    ,            .

       ,        ( ),   ,    ,        ,        (  ).                       .  ,      ,      ,   ,    . ,   ,  ,     .       ,        .

 ,   ,       ,         . !  ,         .   ,     . (, ,   ,            !)  -      ,  ,       ,      .        .


  

      ?

  :   ?

   ?

           ?

       ?

          ?

     ?

      ?

    ,    .

    ,   .

    ,   .

    ,   ?

   ,        .

     ,     -  (,  , )?  ?

     ?

     ?

       ?    ?   ?


 

          ?        ?         ?

    ?    ?    ,      ,   ,    ?

       ?

    ?      ,         ,   .    ,        ?

  /   ?      ,    ?   -   ,     ?

  -,      ?

        ?        ?

     ?      ?      ?


,      

     /  ?

    ?  ?

     (  )?

           ?         ?

, -,   ?

    ?

 //  ?   ?

 ?       ?

     ?

       ?      ?

    ?      -     - ?

   ?    ?

    ?

     ?

   ?

  ? (,    ,  ,         .)

     ?

       ?



,    ,      ,     .      ,   ,      .   ,       .




   

       ,     .    ,   ,          .       .

 1.    ,  , ,  (      - ,   ), , .

 2.      , , ,  .

 3.       .

 4.       .

   ,         (  ,  ),      . ,         ,   ,    ,         ,            ,       ,     .





 :     


      . ( 2018   The New Yorker  ,   ,             [6 - Menand L. What Personality Tests Really Deliver // The New Yorker. 2018. September 3. http://newyorker.com/magazine/2018/09/10/what-personality-tests-really-deliver].)                 Marvel.      [7 - Waxman Olivia B. Where Do Zodiac Signs Come From? Heres the True History Behind Your Horoscope // Time. 20018. June 21. http://time.com/5315377/are-zodiac-signs-real-astrology-history],   ,           ()       .          ,     .

,   ?    ,         ,     .  ,   -      (- ,  ).   ,    ,   ,   ,     .   ,        .

     ,        .       ,  ,  ,   . (  , .)       ,         ( ,  ),   .      ,                  .   ,    ,   ,      ,  ,       (    ).

 ,       ,            .             .         :      ,    .  :    ,      ,     ,   . :   ,    .           .

 ,         ,       . :         ?    ,       .  ,    ,   .  ,              - ,  ,   :       ,    ,   .  ,       ,       .      ,        . ,   ,       ,       .      ,    ,       .



   :

;

16  ;

5  ;

4     .



   ,     ,       (   ),  -   . ,  ,         ,    .




 


   ,        ! (,           .)            .                    .

     ,    ,   ,   -    .     ,     ,  ,  ,  .     ,  ,      ,       ,    ,     [8 -  .  : . . . .: , 2021.].    ,      ,    ,  (    )    ( ,    ).

,   ,      ,    ,       .    ,   ,   .     ,  ,   ,   .    ,        .      ,       ,   :   , ,    !!!




 


      ,    :     ?    ,       ,               -     ,   ,     .       .       .    ,       .

,     - ,    .  .       .      -,  - (     ),    ,       ,    .      ,    ,  , , .         .   ,           .

     ,      ,     . , ,                 ,   .    [9 - Needs Inventory, The Center for Nonviolent Communication, 2005, cnvc.org/training/resource/needs-inventory],    .







   











 















   

























 






     (       3).







/





 

   

 / 



  


      ,      ,      (   )     .       ,       ,     ,     ,     .        - ,        .     ?    ?     ?   -  ?    ?


     

  ,     .      ,    , .   ,  ,         .

   , ,   :

   ,   ,  ,   .

         , ,     .

    :   ?

 :      ,    ,      - ,      ,     .

     ,    ,  :  ,  ?

     ,        .

       ,   .

   ,           .    ,      ,          ,   ,    .         ,   ,          .  :

 ,     ,     .

 :          ,      ?

   ,     .

 , !,         (-!).

  :   ,   ,    .    ,      ,   ,      (    ,     ).     .      ,     .       :    ,    ,     .




 


   ,   ,       ,     ,           ,    [10 - Bonior A. PhD. 10 Important Boundaries Everyone Should Set in 2019 // BuzzFeed. 2019. January 2. http://buzzfeed.com/andreabonior/a-definitive-guide-tosetting-boundaries],       ,    :  ,    ,  . ,   ,      (    ,      ,    !),      .   .      ,     ,       ?      ,     ,        .

     ,    [11 -     18     ,      ,        ,         .]       .          ,      (,  , )       ,  ,      .                 .   ,   ,         ,  ,   - ,   .   -        ,      ( ),    .


 

   (      ).

  (           , ,  ,   ..).

    (  , , , ,   ..).

   (    ,    ).

      (           ,    ).

        (,  ,     ).

 :   ,            .         .

  :     ,   ,  ,        ,    .


   

        .

             ,  .

         (       ).

      (   ).

    .


 

    ,  , !    ,                ,       .

 ( ,      ..).

 (      ,   ).

   (, , ,   ..).

-      .

  /   .

   (    ,     ..).

.

.

,       .

.

.

 /  .

.

         : ,          ,   ,   - .


 

  ,    //  :

;

 ;

;

;

 ;

  ;

 ;

,   ;

   .


    

     .

      .

     ,   .

           .

,    .

        .

              .

      -,       .

      ,       ,  ,    .

          ,  .

        ,          ,      .

     ,   .




         ,  , , ,   -.  :

   , , , ,    (  ),   ,  ,  ,  .             ,  ,     .

   (,    ,           /  ).

         ,   (   ,      ,   ,   ).

 ( ,    ,    ).

 - (   ,        ,      .           ,    ,   ,    ,    ).

    GPS.

         ,   ,  ,   ,    .

, ,     ,   ,   . , ,  ,       .    ,      ,   .    ,   ,   . . ( :     ,   ).   ,  ,         ,      ,       .

   -     .               .         ,       ,   .

     ,     ,     ,       .      ,   .         ,       ,  . (      ,     - :  ,        :  ,    ,    ,      ,    .)     ,       .


 :



   .

   .

    :    ,     .

,     :  ,   -   / .

    /    ,   .

     .

    (,    / //) :      .

  ,               .

        :   ,      .

   /    :

 ,    .


 -  :  ?    ?  :



,  ,  !, :   , :     /  ..,      /  .


    ,           . ,       ,        10.  ,  -     ,     .




   

    SELF        ,     :   ,    .   ,    .    ,  ,      !     !

  , ,  ,   , ?





 2

 



    ,          ,  ,    ,  ,  ,      ,   ,       .       - .   ,      ,  ,  ( ,   ).     ,   .

      .      ,     ,    .         .      .   ,     (    ),   ,      (   ).  򻠖      .        ,     .  ,    ,   ,    ,        ,    ,     ,       .  ,   -  ,   ,          .




 ,   


    , ,  ,    ,         ,     ,  //  ,     ,       .  ,     ,  ,    (    ).        .        -,    ,            




  .


   .

   ,     (https://www.litres.ru/reychel-miller/berezhno-k-sebe-i-drugim-kak-nayti-druzey-schaste-i-smysl-z/)  .

      Visa, MasterCard, Maestro,    ,   ,     ,  PayPal, WebMoney, ., QIWI ,       .



notes








1


  :     . . .




2


Bialik K. Americans Unhappy with Family, Social or Financial Life Are More Likely to Say They Feel Lonely // Pew Research Center. 2018. December 3. http://pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2018/12/03/americans-unhappy-with-family-social-or-financial-life-are-more-likely-to-say-they-feel-lonelyKristen




3


Horowitz J. M., Graf N., Most U. S. Teens See Anxiety and Depression as a Major Problem Among Their Peers // Pew Research Center Social and Demographic Trends. 2019. February. http:// pewsocialtrends.org/2019/02/20/most-u-s-teens-see-anxiety-and-depression-as-a-major-problem-among-their-peers




4


Crowe K. PhD, McDowell E. There Is No Good Card for This: What to Say and Do When Life Is Scary, Awful, and Unfair to People You Love. San Francisco: HarperOne / HarperCollins, 2017.




5


         3.




6


Menand L. What Personality Tests Really Deliver // The New Yorker. 2018. September 3. http://newyorker.com/magazine/2018/09/10/what-personality-tests-really-deliver




7


Waxman Olivia B. Where Do Zodiac Signs Come From? Heres the True History Behind Your Horoscope // Time. 20018. June 21. http://time.com/5315377/are-zodiac-signs-real-astrology-history




8


 .  : . . . .: , 2021.




9


Needs Inventory, The Center for Nonviolent Communication, 2005, cnvc.org/training/resource/needs-inventory




10


Bonior A. PhD. 10 Important Boundaries Everyone Should Set in 2019 // BuzzFeed. 2019. January 2. http://buzzfeed.com/andreabonior/a-definitive-guide-tosetting-boundaries




11


    18     ,      ,        ,         .


