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   , ,    frank@franklang.ru




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1.A shoplifter ( ) was caught ( ; to catch) red-handed (  : ,    / / ) trying to steal a watch from an exclusive jewelry store (        ). Listen (), said the shoplifter, I know you don't want any trouble either ( ,   /  /    ). What do you say I just buy the watch and we forget about this (       ,     )?

The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip (      ; to write-wrote-written  ). The crook () looked at the slip (  ) and said, This is a little more than I intended to spend (  ,    ). Can you show me something less expensive (      -  )?



caught [k?:t], exclusive [?ks'klu:s?v], jewelry ['?u:?lr?], trouble ['tr?bl], either ['a???; 'i:??], forget [f?'?et], agreed [?'?ri:d], intended [?n'tend?d], expensive [?k'spens?v]




A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from an exclusive jewelry store. Listen, said the shoplifter, I know you don't want any trouble either. What do you say I just buy the watch and we forget about this?

The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip. The crook looked at the slip and said, This is a little more than I intended to spend. Can you show me something less expensive?


This is a little more than I intended to spend. Can you show me something less expensive?



2. But why ( ), demanded () the puzzled judge (   ) of the burglar ( ) standing before (  //), did you break ( ; to break-broke-broken  ) into the same store three nights running (        ; to run  ; : )?

Well, Judge, it's like this (  ), was the reply ( ). I picked out a dress for my wife ( : /    ; to pick  ; ; ) and I had to change it twice (      ).



demanded [d?'m?:nd?d], burglar ['b?:?l?], break [bre?k]




But why, demanded the puzzled judge of the burglar standing before, did you break into the same store three nights running?

Well, Judge, it's like this, was the reply. I picked out a dress for my wife and I had to change it twice.


I picked out a dress for my wife and I had to change it twice.



3.Sherlock Holmes and his friend Watson (     ) were on a camping and hiking trip (   ; to hike  ;  ; ).

They had gone to bed (  :   ; to go-went-gone) and were lying there (  ) looking up at the sky (   ).

Holmes said, Watson, look up. What do you see (,  ;   )?

Well, I see thousands of stars (   ).

And what does that mean to you (   , - =     )?

Well, I guess it means we will have another nice day tomorrow ( ,  ,        ). What does it mean to you, Holmes?

To me, it means someone has stolen our tent ( -   ; to steel-stole-stolen  ).



friend [frend], mean [mi:n]




Sherlock Holmes and his friend Watson were on a camping and hiking trip.

They had gone to bed and were lying there looking up at the sky. Holmes said, Watson, look up. What do you see?

Well, I see thousands of stars.

And what does that mean to you?

Well, I guess it means we will have another nice day tomorrow. What does it mean to you, Holmes?

To me, it means someone has stolen our tent.


And what does that mean to you?



4.On a rural road (  ) a state trooper ( ) pulled this farmer over ( // ) and said: Sir, do you realize (,  /) your wife fell out of the car several miles back (        ; to fall-fell-fallen  )?

To which the farmer replied (   ), Thank God, I thought I had gone deaf ( , / /  ,    = ; to think)!



rural ['r??r(?)l], realize ['r??la?z], several ['sev(?)r(?)l], replied [r?'pla?d], deaf [def]




On a rural road a state trooper pulled this farmer over and said: Sir, do you realize your wife fell out of the car several miles back?

To which the farmer replied, Thank God, I thought I had gone deaf!


Thank God!



5.Old farmer Johnson was dying (   ). The family was standing around his bed (    ). With a low voice he said to his wife (     ): When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones (  ,  ,      ).

Wife (): No, I can't marry anyone after you (,         ).

Johnson: But I want you to (  ,    ).

Wife: But why ( )?

Johnson: Jones once cheated me in a horse deal (      ; deal  )!



around [?'ra?nd], voice [v??s], after ['?:ft?]




Old farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice he sad to his wife: When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones.

Wife: No, I can't marry anyone after you.

Johnson: But I want you to.

Wife: But why?

Johnson: Jones once cheated me in a horse deal!


But I want you to.



6.Newly wed wife to her husband (   ; to wed  ;  ):

That is why I can't stand you (      )  you are so unpredictable (  ; to predict  ). On Monday you liked the potatoes (    ), Tuesday ( ) you liked the potatoes, Wednesday ( ) you liked the potatoes, Thursday ( ) you said ( ) you loved the potatoes preparation (    =   ), Friday ( ) you liked the potatoes, Saturday ( ) you liked the potatoes and now ( ) all of a sudden () on Sunday ( ) you say that you don't like potatoes.



unpredictable [,?npr?'d?kt?bl], potatoes [p?'te?t??z], Wednesday ['wenzde?], preparation [,prep(?)'re??(?)n], Saturday ['s?t?de?]




Newly wed wife to her husband:

That is why I can't stand you  you are so unpredictable. On Monday you liked the potatoes, Tuesday you liked the potatoes, Wednesday you liked the potatoes, Thursday you said you loved the potatoes preparation, Friday you liked the potatoes, Saturday you liked the potatoes and now all of a sudden on Sunday you say that you don't like potatoes.


That is why I can't stand you  you are so unpredictable.



7.A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself (      ,   ).

Approaching (/ ) the friend he comments (), You look terrible (  ). What's the problem (  / )?

My mother died in August (    ), he said, and left me ( ; to leave) $25,000.

Gee, that's tough (,   ; taugh  ; ; ; ), he replied ().

Then in September (  ), the friend continued (), My father died, leaving me $90,000.

Wow. Two parents gone in two months ( ,     ). No wonder you're depressed (,   ).

And last month (  ) my aunt () died, and left me $15,000.

Three close family members lost in three months (       ; to lose  )? How sad ( ).

Then this month (   ), continued the friend, absolutely nothing ( )!



continued [k?n't?nju:d], aunt [?:nt], close /./ [kl??s], absolutely [,?bs(?)'lu:tl?], nothing ['n???n]




A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself.

Approaching the friend he comments, You look terrible. What's the problem?

My mother died in August, he said, and left me $25,000.

Gee, that's tough, he replied.

Then in September, the friend continued, My father died, leaving me $90,000.

Wow. Two parents gone in two months. No wonder you're depressed.

And last month my aunt died, and left me $15,000.

Three close family members lost in three months? How sad.

Then this month, continued the friend, absolutely nothing!


You look terrible. What's the problem?

Gee, that's tough!

No wonder you're depressed.



8.The patient shook his doctor's hand in gratitude (     ; to shake-shook-shaken  ) and said ( ), Since we are the best of friends (    ), I would not insult you by offering payment (    ,  ). But I would like you to know that I have mentioned you in my will (  ,   ,       ).

That is very kind of you (     ), said the doctor emotionally ( =  ), and then added (), Can I see that prescription I just gave you (    ,      ; to give-gave-given)? I'd like to make a little change (     )



patient ['pe??(?)nt], gratitude ['?r?t?tju:d], since [s?ns], mentioned ['men?(?)nd], emotionally [?'m???(?)n(?)l?], prescription [pr?s'kr?p?(?)n]




The patient shook his doctor's hand in gratitude and said, Since we are the best of friends, I would not insult you by offering payment. But I would like you to know that I have mentioned you in my will.

That is very kind of you, said the doctor emotionally, and then added, Can I see that prescription I just gave you? I'd like to make a little change


That is very kind of you.



9.The man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do (   ,     ; to tell) all the things around the house that he used to do (   ,    :   ). When the examination was complete (   ), he said, Now, Doc, I can take it (, ,    :    ). Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me (     = ,     ; plain  , ; ;  / /; ).

Well, in plain English, the doctor replied, you're just lazy (  ).

Okay, said the man. Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife (    ,      ).



used [ju:zd], examination [??,z?m?'ne??(?)n], complete [k?m'pli:t], replied [r?'pla?d], medical ['med?k(?)l]




The man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things around the house that he used to do. When the examination was complete, he said, Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me.

Well, in plain English, the doctor replied, you're just lazy.

Okay, said the man. Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife.


Now, Doc, I can take it.

What is wrong with me?

You're just lazy.



10.As the doctor completed an examination of the patient (    ), he said ( ), I can't find a cause for your complaint (      ). Frankly ( //), I think it's due to drinking ( ,  - ; due  , ; ).

In that case (  ), said the patient, I'll come back when you're sober ( ,     =  ).



find [fa?nd], cause [k?:z], complaint [k?m'ple?nt]




As the doctor completed an examination of the patient, he said, I can't find a cause for your complaint. Frankly, I think it's due to drinking.

In that case, said the patient, I'll come back when you're sober.


Frankly, I think it's due to drinking.



11.A patient came to his dentist (    ) with problems with his teeth (   ).

Patient: Doctor, I have yellow teeth (   ), what do I do (  )?

Dentist: Wear a brown tie (  )!



problems ['pr?bl?mz], teeth [ti:?], wear [we?]




A patient came to his dentist with problems with his teeth.

Patient: Doctor, I have yellow teeth, what do I do?

Dentist: Wear a brown tie!


What do I do?



12.Patient: My hair keeps falling out (   ). What can you give me (    ) to keep it in (  )?

Doctor: A shoebox (  ).



hair [he?], shoebox ['?u:,b?ks]




Patient: My hair keeps falling out. What can you give me to keep it in?

Doctor: A shoebox.


My hair keeps falling out.



13.Doctor: What seems to be the trouble (  )?

Patient: Doctor, I keep getting the feeling (,     :    ) that nobody can hear what I say (   ,   ).

Doctor: What seems to be the trouble?



trouble ['tr?bl], hear [h??]




Doctor: What seems to be the trouble?

Patient: Doctor, I keep getting the feeling that nobody can hear what I say.

Doctor: What seems to be the trouble?


What seems to be the trouble?



14.Doctor: You're in good health (  :    ). You'll live to be eighty (   80).

Patient: But, doctor, I am 80 right now ( ,   80).

Doctor: See, what did I tell you (,    ).



health [hel?]




Doctor: You're in good health. You'll live to be eighty.

Patient: But, doctor, I am 80 right now.

Doctor: See, what did I tell you.


You're in good health.

See, what did I tell you.



15.Patient: Doctor, I have a serious memory problem (     ). I can't remember anything (    /)!

Doctor: So, since when did you have this problem (,       )?

Patient: What problem ( )?



serious ['s??r??s], memory ['mem(?)r?], remember [r?'m?mb?]




Patient: Doctor, I have a serious memory problem. I can't remember anything!

Doctor: So, since when did you have this problem?

Patient: What problem?


I can't remember anything!



16.A man, after being hurt (,  ,   /: to hurt   ; ; ), calls 911 for help ( 911  ).

Man: Operator, operator, call me an ambulance (   /      : to call  /)!

Operator: Okay, sir, you're an ambulance (   )!



operator ['?p(?)re?t?], ambulance ['?mbj?l?ns]




A man, after being hurt, calls 911 for help.

Man: Operator, operator, call me an ambulance!

Operator: Okay, sir, you're an ambulance!


Call me an ambulance!



17.A drummer, sick of all the drummer jokes (,      ), decides to change his instrument (  ). After some thought (  ), he decides on the accordion (  ). So he goes to the music store (     ) and says to the owner (  ), I'd like to look at the accordions, please (    , ).

The owner gestures () to a shelf in the corner (   ) and says, All our accordions are over there (    ).

After browsing (  ; browse   ; to browse   ,  ; ,  ), the drummer says, I think I'd like the big red one in the corner ( ,      ).

The store owner looks at him (  ) and says, You're a drummer, aren't you ( ,   )?

The drummer, crestfallen ( : crest   // + to fall  ), says, How did you know (  )?

The store owner says, That 'big red accordion' is the radiator (     ).



decides [d?'sa?dz], change [?e?n?], instrument ['?nstr?m?nt], thought [??:t], music ['mju:z?k], gestures ['?es??z], browsing ['bra?z?n], crestfallen ['krestf?:l(?)n], radiator ['re?d?e?t?]




A drummer, sick of all the drummer jokes, decides to change his instrument.

After some thought, he decides on the accordion. So he goes to the music store and says to the owner, I'd like to look at the accordions, please.

The owner gestures to a shelf in the corner and says, All our accordions are over there.

After browsing, the drummer says, I think I'd like the big red one in the corner.

The store owner looks at him and says, You're a drummer, aren't you?

The drummer, crestfallen, says, How did you know?

The store owner says, That 'big red accordion' is the radiator.


I'd like to look at the accordions, please.

How did you know?



18.A guy walks into the doctor's office and says (      ; guy  /./ , ), Doc, I haven't had a bowel (/) movement () in a week (,     )! The doctor gives him a prescription (  ) for a mild laxative ( ) and tells him, If it doesn't work, let me know (  ,   ).

A week later ( ), the guy is back ( ): Doc, still (-) no movement!

The doctor says, Hmm, guess (// ) you need ( ) something stronger (- ), and prescribes () a powerful laxative ( ; power  ).

Still ( /  ) another week later (  :   ) the poor () guy is back: Doc, STILL nothing (- )!

The doctor, worried (), says, We'd better get some more information about you (      ) to try to figure out what's going on (  ,  ). What do you do for a living (     =    )?

I'm a musician ( ).

The doctor looks up ( ) and says, Well, that's it (, )! Here's (: ) $10.00. Go get something to eat (  - )!



bowel ['ba??l], movement ['mu:vm?nt], prescription [pr?'skr?p?(?)n], laxative ['l?ks?t?v], prescribes [pr?'skra?bz], information [,?nf?'me??(?)n], figure ['f???], living ['l?v?n], musician [mju:'z??(?)n]




A guy walks into the doctor's office and says, Doc, I haven't had a bowel movement in a week! The doctor gives him a prescription for a mild laxative and tells him, If it doesn't work, let me know.

A week later the guy is back: Doc, still no movement!

The doctor says, Hmm, guess you need something stronger, and prescribes a powerful laxative.

Still another week later the poor guy is back: Doc, STILL nothing!

The doctor, worried, says, We'd better get some more information about you to try to figure out what's going on. What do you do for a living?

I'm a musician.

The doctor looks up and says, Well, that's it! Here's $10.00. Go get something to eat!


That's it!

What do you do for a living?



19. Do you believe in life after death (     )? the boss () asked one of his employees (    =  ).

Yes, Sir (, ), the new recruit replied (  ).

Well, then, that makes everything just fine (, :     ), the boss went on (). After you left early yesterday ( ,     ; to leave  ; ) to go to your grandmother's funeral (     ), she stopped in to see you ( /  ).



death [de?], employees [,empl??'i:z], recruit [r?'kru:t], replied [r?'pla?d], funeral ['fju:n(?)r?l]




Do you believe in life after death? the boss asked one of his employees.

Yes, Sir, the new recruit replied.

Well, then, that makes everything just fine, the boss went on. After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you.


That makes everything just fine.



20.A musical director was having a lot of trouble with one drummer (      ). He talked and talked and talked ( ,   ) with the drummer, but his performance simply didn't improve (     ).

Finally (), before the whole orchestra, he said (    ), When a musician just can't handle his instrument (        ) and doesn't improve when given help (  ,   ), they take away the instrument (   ), and give him two sticks, and make him a drummer (        ).

A stage whisper ( ) was heard from the percussion section (  c  ; to hear; percussion  ; percussion instrument   ): And if he can't handle even that (       ; to handle  ; ), they take away one of his sticks (    ) and make him a conductor (   ).



director [d?'rekt?; da?(?)'rekt?], performance [p?'f?:m?ns], improve [?m'pru:v], finally ['fa?n(?)l?], orchestra ['?:k?str?], percussion [p?'k??(?)n], conductor [k?n'd?kt?]




A musical director was having a lot of trouble with one drummer. He talked and talked and talked with the drummer, but his performance simply didn't improve.

Finally, before the whole orchestra, he said, When a musician just can't handle his instrument and doesn't improve when given help, they take away the instrument, and give him two sticks, and make him a drummer.

A stage whisper was heard from the percussion section: And if he can't handle even that, they take away one of his sticks and make him a conductor.


He can't handle even that.



21.For the first time in many years (     ), an old man traveled from his rural town to the city (    c    ) to attend a movie ( ). After buying his ticket (  / ), he stopped to purchase some popcorn (   ).

Handing the attendant ( ) $1.50, he couldn't help but comment (     ), The last time I came to the movie ( ,     ), popcorn was only 15 cents (   15 ).

Well, sir (, ), the attendant replied () with a grin ( ), You're really going to enjoy yourself (  ). We have sound now (     =   )



traveled ['tr?v(?)ld], rural ['r??r(?)l], movie ['mu:v?], purchase ['p?:??s], comment ['k?m?nt]




For the first time in many years, a an old man traveled from his rural town to the city to attend a movie. After buying his ticket, he stopped to purchase some popcorn.

Handing the attendant $1.50, he couldn't help but comment, The last time I came to the movies, popcorn was only 15 cents.

Well, sir, the attendant replied with a grin, You're really going to enjoy yourself. We have sound now


You're really going to enjoy yourself.



22.A man really loved a woman (   =     ), but he was just too shy (    ) to propose to her (   ). Now he was up in his years (     ) and neither of them had ever been married (        ; ever  -; to marry    ). Of course, they dated about once a week (,        ) for the past six years (   ), but he was so timid () he just never got around (     ) to suggesting marriage ( ) much less living together (     =      /  /).

But one day ( ), he became determined to ask her the question (  // ,      =      ). So he calls her on the phone (    ), June.

Yes, this is June (,  ).

Will you marry me (   )?

Of course I will (, )! Who's this ( )?



really ['r??l?], propose [pr?'p??z], years [j??z; j?:z], married ['m?r?d], course [k?:s], past [p?:st], timid ['t?m?d], suggesting [s?'?est?n], marriage ['m?r??], phone [f??n]




A man really loved a woman, but he was just too shy to propose to her. Now he was up in his years and neither of them had ever been married. Of course, they dated about once a week for the past six years, but he was so timid he just never got around to suggesting marriage much less living together.

But one day, he became determined to ask her the question. So he calls her on the phone, June.

Yes, this is June.

Will you marry me?

Of course I will! Who's this?


Will you marry me?



23.Jack was living in Arizona (   ) during a heat wave (   :  ) when the following took place (   : to take place  :  ).

It's just too hot to wear clothes today (  ,   ; just  ,  , ; , , ), complained () Jack as he stepped out of the shower (   ). Honey (: ), what do you think the neighbors would think (  ,    ) if I mowed the lawn like this (      )?

Probably that I married you for your money (,      -  ).



during ['dj??r?n], following ['f?l???n], clothes [kl???z], complained [k?m'ple?nd], shower ['?a??], mowed [m??d], probably ['pr?b?bl?]




Jack was living in Arizona during a heat wave when the following took place.

It's just too hot to wear clothes today, complained Jack as he stepped out of the shower. Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?

Probably that I married you for your money.


It's just too hot to wear clothes today.



24.Sue and Bob, a pair of tight wads ( ; tight  , ; wad  , ;   ), lived in the Midwest (   ), and had been married years (    // ). Bob had always wanted to go flying (   ). The desire deepened (  ) each time a barnstormer ( ,  -,      ; barn   + to storm   ; ) flew into town to offer rides (    ; to fly-flew-flown  ; ride  ; to ride   ). Bob would ask ( ), and Sue would say, No way (   ), ten dollars is ten dollars (    ).

The years went by ( ), and Bob figured he couldn't wait much longer (,     ), so he got Sue out to the show (    ), explaining (), it's free to watch ( // ), let's () at least 




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